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The Girl and the 
Undergraduate 

A Comedy in One Act 



BY 



GRACE COOKE STRONG 




PHILADELPHIA 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

1912 



^r 



T^4 



COPYEIGHT 1912 BY ThE PeNN PUBLISHING CoMPANY 



T^!PS6-007i6C 



The Girl and the Undergraduate 



The Girl and the Undergraduate 



CHARACTERS 

Horace Latham professor of mathematics. 

Guy Montgomery Watts . . . professor of literature. 

Jack Stan dish a Junior. 

Ted Latham a freshman. 

Harold Gray the ^^undergraduate.'' 

Mrs. Flora Darcy a fascinating widozv. 

Sylvia Latham the ''girl.'' 

Several students (fnay be omitted^. 

Time. — Late spring of last year. 

Time of Playing. — Thirty-five minutes. 



STORY OF THE PLAY 

Harold Gray, a popular junior, is in love with Sylvia, 
daughter of Professor Latham. The professor has threatened 
that if his lively son, Ted, a freshman, does not spend the 
afternoon studying for an examination he will make him 
leave college. Ted has planned to go canoeing with Mrs. 
Darcy, a fascinating young widow. Harold saves Ted by 
going with Mrs. Darcy himself. Sylvia thought Harold 
would take her. She thinks Professor Watts has proposed to 
her, and in a fit of jealousy tells Mrs. Darcy she has accepted 
him. But Watts had only been asking her to help him with 
a new book. Sylvia is mortified. Mrs. Darcy tries to tell 
her news, but Harold steps into the breach. " I am the 
man she's engaged to." Harold and Sylvia. *' I said it 
only to help you." Sylvia confesses. " There was never 
any one but you." 



COSTUMES, ETC. 

Professor Latham. About fifty. Wears glasses, but 
need not be too severely intellectual in appearance or very 
formal in dress. He has a nervous, decided manner. 

Professor Watts. About thirty. Pale, slender, very 
intellectual. Wears dark suit and glasses. 

Standish, Gray and Ted. All wear flannels or other 
costume suitable for boating. Ted is about nineteen, the 
others a few years older. 

Mrs. Dakcy. About twenty five. Very dashing and 
assured in manner. She wears a handsome afternoon spring 
costume with wide hat, gloves, etc. 

Sylvia. About twenty-one. She wears a pretty spring 
house dress. She may put on hat, if she wishes, at her first 
exit, still wearing it at her next entrance. 

Students. These characters are not positively necessary 
to the play and may be omitted if desired. They may dress 
in any outdoor spring costume, with college caps, sweaters, 
etc. 



PROPERTIES 



fKUFKKTlKS 

Books, embroidery materials, folded papers, canoe paddles, 
tennis rackets, parasol, watch. 



©CID 31839 
7j *a i 



The Girl and the Undergraduate 



SCENE. — Hall or livhig-room in Professor Latham's 
house on the campus of FairbrigJit College. Door r. 
leads to veranda. Door L. leads to other rooms of the 
house. A low table doivu l., with books on it, and a 
chair each side of it. Sofado7v?i'R. Other furnishings 
''to suit taste. There should be several canoe paddles and 
tennis rackets in sight. Time, late spring of last year. 

{As the curtain rises Sylvia Latham, iii a light summer 
gown, is sitting left of table with her embroidery ; Ted 
Latham is lounging on a sofa, \\. ; Professor Watts, 
right of table, is reading aloud from £?nersofi's ^^ Essay 
on Manners.''') 

Prof. VV. (reading). "*I overheard Jove, one day,' 
said Silenus, 'talking of destroying the eartli ; he said it 
had failed ; they were all rogues and vixens, who went from 
bad to worse, as fast as the days succeeded each other. 
Minerva said she hoped not ; they were only ridiculous 
little creatures, with this odd circumstance, that they had a 
blur, or indeterminate aspect, seen far or seen near; if you 
called tliem bad they would appear so; if you called them 
good they would appear so ; and there was no one person 
or action among them, which would not puzzle her owl, 
much more all Olympus, to know whether it was funda- 
mentally bad or good.' " (Throws down book.) There, 
Miss Latham, is a concrete illustration of the point in favor 
of which I am always arguing, namely, the debt that mod- 
ern literature owes to classic mythology. Even the great 
Emerson could find no more fitting climax to his admirable 
essay than this quaint fable. 

Sylvia {dropping her ivork). That is true; but tell me, 
Professor Watts, does Minerva mean that we are all so indif- 
ferently good that we might as well be really bad ? 

Prof. VV. (gallantly). If Minerva had lived in your 

5 



6 THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE 

day, Miss Latham, slie would have cited you as the notable 
exception. Your goodness is as apparent as your beauty. 

Ted {sitttJig up and yaivning). Say, Professor, .what did 
the owl have to do about it, anyway ? 

Sylvia (^petulantly'). I wish you wouldn't ask such 
foolish questions; I'm sure that you annoy Professor Watts. 

Prof. VV. {deprecatingly'). My dear Miss Latham 

Ted {cheerfully). Don't mind her. I know when to 
take a hint, be it ever so delicately veiled. {^Rlses, walks 
up c, then turns back.) Read Sylvia some more about 
manners, Professor ; she needs it. 

(^Exit, R., whistling.) 

Prof. W. {laughing artificially as he moves 7iearer 
Sylvia). A bright boy, your brother, Miss Latham; but 
now that we are really alone, I should like to talk with you 
upon a subject much nearer my heart than mythology — in 
fact, a subject that is engrossing my mind to the exclusion 
of all else. 1 

Sylvia {drawing away). Piofessor, why — I 



Prof. W. {leaning over table, eagerly). Don't say that I 
may not speak. During the past months, you cannot have 
failed to observe the esteem with which I regard you, the 
respect in which I hold your intellectual endowments. You 
see the marked congeniality of our tastes ; you realize the 
pleasure we both experience from the society of each 
other 

Sylvia {rising in confusion). Professor Watts, I never 
dreamed 

Prof. W. {rising a?td coming very near to her). The 
modesty that will not allow you to see your own superiority 
is one of your greatest charms ; but now I can no longer 
keep from you my purpose, which needs only your consent 
to make me the happiest of men. I 

{Enter Harold Gray and Jack Standish, r.) 

Standlsh. Oh, I hope we're not intruding ? Ted told 
us to walk right in. 

Sylvia {70/10 is relieved to see them). Oh, no; come 
in. Professor Watts was good enough to read to me, but 
it's really too good a day to be indoors. 

Prof. W. {looking at Sylvia). Why don't we all take a 
walk, then ? 



THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE "} 

Standish. Right you are, Professor. Come along. 
(^D raws paper from his pocket.) You're just the man I 
wanted to see. Won't you give me your opinion on this 
article I've just finished for the " Tribune" ? 

Prof. W. {in embarrassment'). Why — er — er — certainly 
— of course — my dear fellow. 

Standish. We'll take a stroll along by the river, and 
talk it over. Gray, will you join us ? 

Gray {sitting doivn by table). No, thanks; I'll chat a 
while with Sylvia, if she's willing. 

Standish. All right. Come on, Professor. Good-bye, 
Sylvia. 

Prof. W. {to Sylvia). Good-afternoon. I shall see you 
again very soon, Miss Latham. 

Sylvia {doubtfully). Oh, yes. Good-bye. 

{Exit Standish, r., with Prof. W., the latter looking back 
reluctantly ^ 

Gray (laughing). Poor old Watts ; always running 
about at the beck and call of somebody else. 

{Sits right of table.) 

Sylvia {sitting down o?i the other side of table). Harold, 
is it true — what he has been telling me about you — that 
you've given up football, that you're not to play next fall ? 

Gray {with emotiofi). Don't, Sylvia, that's a sore subject 
with me. You know my Dad's a bit old-fashioned; he 
doesn't believe in modern athletics, and he's begged me 

Sylvia. But he's never interfered before. 

Gray (reddening). I know ; but there's another reason. 
There's somebody else that I want to please even nnore than 
I do my poor old Dad. 

SvLviA {leaning across the table). Do I understand, 
Harold Gray, that you have given up football — your pas- 
sion — just because of what I said ? 

{Her hand lies on the table before her.) 

Gray {taking her hand). I know you hate football; 
you think it barbarous, cruel. Didn't I hear you say that 
you could never love a man who cared only for brute sports, 
who had no intellectual ? 

Sylvia. Yes, yes, I said it. 



8 THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE 

Gray {rising a?id leaning over her chair). All right; 
I've made my clioice. Hereafter it's yours truly for the 
intellectual. I'll show you what 1 can do, and I'B drive 
poor Watts clear off the field. 

Sylvia {loo ki fig zip at him shyly). You're so splendid, 
Harold. 1 believe in you, and I thank you — for what you've 
done for my sake, and 1 thank you for what you've done 
for Ted. You helped him so cleverly out of that scrape — 
about — about the broken glass, and you kept father from 
knowing it. Father's so irascible, and is always threaten- 
ing to take Ted out of college. 1 want so much to have 
Ted finish his course. 

Gkay. He's going to do it, Sylvia. I'll stand back of 
him. 

Sylvia. You're so good. {Noise without.) Some one 
is coming. 

Gray. Say, this is no place for us on a day like this. 
My canoe is waiting. Will you come out on the river, and 
under the blue sky, where there's no one else to listen ? I 
want to tell you something, Sylvia — something that's only 
for you. Will you come ? 

SyuwiPl {eagerly). Yes Oh, I forgot. Father's aunt 

is coming this afternoon, and I'm scheduled to meet her at 
the station. It's most time. 

Gray. That's tough. Well, then, this evening? 

{Enter Professor 1-atham, l.) 

Sylvia. Yes. What is it, father ? 
Gray. Good-afternoon, Professor. 

Prof. L. How do you do. Gray ? Sylvia, the carriage 
is waiting for you to drive down for your aunt. 

Sylvia. Oh, very well; I'll hurry. Good-bye, Harold. 

(Exit, R.) 

Gray {^vatching her at door r.). Good-bye. 

Prof. L. {sitting down right of tabic). Gray, have you 
seen anything of my son, Theodore, this afternoon? 

Gray. I haven't seen Ted to-day, Professor Latham. 

Prof. L. I'll tell you in confidence, Harold, that the 
boy is giving me a great deal of trouble. He is outrageously 
neglecting his studies, and is idling away his time with that 
frivolous woman, Mrs, Darcy, whom we all thoroughly 
detest. 



THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE 9 

Gray. I'm sorry, Professor. 

Prof. L. (^bringing his fist down on the table). Well, 
Pm through with hiiii. To-day ends everything as far as 
he is concerned. 

Gray (Jn alarm). What do you mean ? 

[Sits on sofa, r.) 

Prof. L. I mean that my patience is exhausted. To- 
morrow Ted begins his examinations, and 1 have ordered 
him to remain at home this afternoon and study — something 
he has not done for two months. If I hear of his being in 
the company of Mrs. Darcy, or of leaving the house this 
afternoon on any pretext, to-morrow he shall leave college 
and shift for himself. 

Gray. Does he realize the penalty ? 

Prof. L. I have merely told him to remain at home. 
I shall trust you not to inform him of my intentions, and not 
to tell his sister, either. She is always trying to shield him. 
{Rises.) I can depend on you? 

Gray. Certainly, Professor; but Pm sorry for Ted. 

Prof. L. He isn't sorry for himself. And now will 
you excuse me ? I am preparing my examination questions. 
Good-day, sir. 

{Exit, L.) 
{Enter Ted, r.) 

Ted {waving his hand to his father's retreating figure). 
By Jove, that was a narrow escape 1 Pve been dodging 
Dad all day. {Picks up paddle.) 

Gray. Where are you bound ? 

Ted {turnins[ back r.). Canoeing with the adorable 
Mrs. Darcy. Think Pm going to miss being on the river a 
day like this ? 

Gray {putting his hand on Ted's arm). Say, Ted, 
exams begin to-morrow; wliy don't you stay at home and 
plug a little ? 

Ted (/;/ genuine surprise). Say, cut it out. What is it 
to you ? 

Gray. More than you think. 

Ted {grinfiing). Oh, I see; you're jealous. You want 
Flora Darcy yourself, so all this interest in my mental 
welfare 



10 THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE 

Gray {sternly). That's enough. 

Ted {a little awed). Excuse me. I didn't mean that, 
Gray, honest. Say, I'm going up-stairs for a cap. , If you 
see Flora — Mrs. Darcy, tell her I'll be here in a jiff. 
So- long. 

{Exit, L., hastily.') 

Gray (laughing in spite of himself). The impudent 
little pup ! But 1 must prevent his going. His father never 
goes back on his word. {Moves to door r., as though 
going.) Hello! Here's Mrs. Darcy. {Struck by an idea.) 
That's it! It's the only way. I'll do it. (Calls off r.) 
Oh, Mrs. Darcy ! By Jove, she's coming in ! (Enter 
Mrs. Flora Darcy, r.) Oh, I didn't intend to give you 
the trouble to come in, Mrs, Darcy. 

Mrs. D. Oh, I was coming in, anyway, to see Sylvia 
for a minute. And then Ted and I were going canoeing. 
How do you do, Mr. Gray ? (Puts out her hand.) 

Gray (shaking hands'). How do you do? I'm afraid 
Ted isn't to be depended on, Mrs. Darcy. 

Mrs. D. Why, what do you mean ? 

Gray (glancing l., nervously). Why, he left here on an 
errand some time ago, and I don't believe he's going to get 
back in time to go with you. 

Mrs. D. Oh, how provoking ! 

Gray. But — er, my own canoe is waiting — I was just on 
my way to the river. Won't you come with me, Mrs. 
Darcy ? 

Mrs. D. But suppose Ted does get back ? I half prom- 
ised 

Gray {interruptinsC). Oh, we never need keep promises 
with a Freshman. Come on. I'm lonesome to-day. Have 
pity on me. (Moves r. ) 

Mrs. D. (smiling archly as she follows). Well, since 
you put it that way. At least I'll feel safer with you. One 
can never be sure just what Ted is going to do next. 

Gray. Good ! 

Mrs. D. Wait a moment until I get my parasol. I think 
I left it on Mrs. Thurston's veranda. 

Gray. I'll meet you at the landing, Mrs. Darcy. 

Mrs. D. All right ; I won't be long. 

(Exity R.) 



THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE II 

Gray {shrugging his shoulders). A whole afternoon of 
that ! If the youngster wasn't Sylvia's brother, he wouldn't 
be worth it. {Looks R.) Why, what in the world ? Sylvia 
is coming ! {Enter Sylvia, r.) It isn't you? 

Sylvia {gaily). Aunt Deborah didn't come after all j I 
can go Why, what is the matter? 

Gray {in confusion). Sylvia, I don't know how to ex- 
plain, you can't understand. I thought you couldn't 

Well, I asked Mrs. Darcy 

Sylvia (icily). Mrs. Darcy? 

Gray {humbly). You see, 1 thought — I never meant 



Sylvia {laughing unsteadily). Don't apologize. I as- 
sure you it doesn't matter in the least. {Crosses l.) 

Gray. Sylvia, let me explain 

Sylvia {sternly). Please say no more about it. Good- 
afternoon. 

Gray {pleadingly). Sylvia, listen 

Sylvia. Good-bye. 

Gray. Very well, good-bye. 

(^;//^r Ted, l. Gray rushes out r., ivithout speaking to 
him.) 

Ted. Say, what's the matter with him? Can't he speak 
to a fellow ? 

Sylvia {siueetly). He is in a hurry, dear; he's going 
canoeing with Mrs. Darcy. 

Ted. Canoeing with Mrs. Darcy ? 

Sylvia. Yes. 

Ted. Who told you so? 

SYr,viA. He did — just now. 

Ted (/;/ a rage, looking off r.). By Jove, you're right. 
Look ! (Sylvia looks.) He's waiting for her on the land- 
ing. The sneaking, underhanded I hope he drowns. 

Sylvia (/// horror). Ted ! 

Ted. I don't care. Mrs. Darcy was going with me. 

She'd promised {Looks sharply at Sylvia.) Why, 

sis, I thought Gray never tgok out any girl but you. 

Sylvia. He doesn't — I mean he does — I don't care, do 
you hear, Ted Latham ? I don't care what Harold Gray 
does. {Stamps foot.) I don't care. 

Ted {angrily). Well, if you don't, I do. I'll teach ihe 
miserable scamp to leave my sister for anybody. Why, 
everybody knows he's been crazy about you. 



12 THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE 

Sylvia (siitins^ down and picking tip a book). Then 
every one may forget it. It is very little concern of mine 
what Mr. Gray does. I'm practically engaged !o — to 
Professor Watts. 

Ted. You're joking ! But how will Gray ? 

Sylvia {pretendifig to read). I forbid you to mention 
Mr. Gray to me again j I hate him, and I'm not joking. 

Ted. Well, 1 never — Wattsy for a brother-in-law ! 
Suffering snakes ! Well, as I can't be happy, I may as well 
be miserable. Me for the books. {^Exil, \.. Sylvia dnries 
her face in her hands, and cries silently for a moinent, but 
dries her eyes as she hears 'J'ed approaching. Enter Ted, 
L., his arms loaded with books.) You don't look very 
cheerful, if you are just engaged. 

Sylvia. I'm crying — just because I'm so happy. 

Ted. Then forget it. (Ted asstmies a comfortable 
though nnconventio?ial position on the sofa down r., his 
books strewn picturesquely about him. He dives desper- 
ately into one, then tJirows it doivnfcr another. Repeats 
this several times.) It's no use looking at Trig — I'm 
hopelessly behind in that. Greek, I might do some- 
thing 

{Enter Mrs. D., r.) 

Mrs. D. Oh, how do you do, Sylvia? Have you seen 
anything of my parasol? I thought I left it at the I'hurs- 
tons', but I must have laid it down here this morning. 

Sylvia {going 7/p l, and picking 7/p parasol). Is this it? 

{Hands parasol to Mrs. D., with frigid politeness.) 

Mrs. D. Oh, yes. Thank you so much. Teddy, boy, 
you'll forgive me for deserting you this afternoon, won't 
you? Mr. Gray teased so hard, I really couldn't refuse. 
You don't mind ? 

Ted {gruffly, tvithout looking up). Go ahead ! I don't 
care. 

Mrs. D. How sweet of you. {Puts arm about Syimia.) 
Sylvia, I do believe you've been crying. I do hope that 
you don't mind Mr. Gray's inviting me. I'll confess I was 
surprised myself, for I'd always fancied he was fond of you. 
Of course, I was mistaken. 

Sylvia. You certainly were, Mrs. Darcy. 



THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE 1 3 

Mrs. D. Now I'm glad lo hear ihat, for if I thought you 
were grieving about it, I shouldn't enjoy myself one bit. Jn 
fact, I shouldn't go. 

Sylvia {with dignity). Mrs. Darcy, please don't think 
for a moment that I am in the least concerned as to what 
Mr. Gray does. You may as well know now as at any time, 
that I am — engaged — to — to Professor Watts. 

Mrs. D. {liropping her parasol). Mercy on us! Pro- 
fessor Watts ! Well, there's no accounting for tastes. 

Sylvia. Mrs. Darcy ! 

Mrs. D. (^picking up parasol^. Why, I mean you are 
both so well suited, so perfectly congenial. You never 
could have managed a lively man, Sylvia. (^Kisses her.) 
I hope you'll be very happy, I'm sure. 

Sylvia. Thank you. 

Mus. D. I must hurry, for I've already kept dear ]\Tr. 
Gray waiting a long time. Good-bye, Sylvia. Don't get 
brain fever, Teddy. 

(Exit, R.) 

Ted (Jn disgust). She'll have that all over town by 
night. 

Sylvia (defiantly). Why shouldn't she? 

Ted. 1 thought you were only saying that because you 
were mad with Gray. When did Wattsy propose? 

Sylvia. This — why, don't ask such foolish questions, 
Ted. 

Ted. Here he comes now. 

Syi,via (/■// a panic). Oh, dear, Ted, please go in. I 
know the professor wants to speak to me alone. 

(Enter Prof. W., r.) 

Prof. W. Dear Miss Latham, I had despaired of ever 
getting back to you. (Stumbles over Ted's books, which he 
stoops and picks up.) How do you do, Theodore? 

'1'ed (ignoring Sylvia's furtive signs, 7vith which she is 
trying to persuade Jwn to leave them). Not very well, Pro- 
fessor; too constant application to my studies is impairing 
my health. 

Prof. W. (laying books on the tabic and sitting doivn). 
Nevertheless your perseverance augurs well for to-morrow. 

Ted (reluctantly rising). I hope so. 



14 THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE 

Prof. W. {uneasily). I trust that I am not disturbing 
you. 

Ted (cheerfully'). Not in the least, Professor. • I was 
just going up to my room for more books. 

Sylvia. You can study fully as comfortably on the 
veranda, Ted. 

Ted. Thank you for the suggestion. Good-bye, Pro- 
fessor. 

{Exit, R.) 

Prof. W. Pll confess that I am delighted to see such un- 
mistakable signs of mental awakening in Theodore. 1 am 
sure it is your influence and example 

Sylvia. I only trust that he will remain away long enough 
for us to talk undisturbed. {She stands right of table.) 

Prof. W. {coming near her). That brings me just to 
the point, my dear Miss Latham ; still I can hardly find 
words in which to frame the question that has so long been 
trembling on my lips. 

Sylvia {encouragingly). Pm listening. 

{She nervously picks up a book from the table.) 

Prof. W. (/// great agitation). Miss Latham, Sylvia, 
you know me well. You know my ability, my intellectual 
equipment, furthermore you know my limitations, my de- 
pendence upon the mental stimulus that you have always 
given me. 

Sylvia {nervously). Yes, I know — that is, Pve always 
tried to be a — an inspiration to you. Professor Watts. 

{Sits right of table.) 

Prof. W. You have been ; will you continue to be — for 
an indefinite period? {He sits o?i sofa r.) 

Sylvia. 1— I 

Prof. W. {drmving papers from pocket). I am about to 
begin a work that has been the dream of my life — the writing 
of a book, which I shall call "The Pursuit of the Impossi- 
ble." Miss Sylvia, will you collaborate with me in its 
preparation ? 

Sylvia {dropping book with a crash). Collaborate — a 
book? Oh, that is a joke, Professor Watts. 

Prof. W. {rising indignantly). A joke ? 



THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE I5 

SvLViA {laughing hysterically). Believe me, I must de- 
cline (^Rises and looks about wildly.) 1 appreciate 

the honor — 1 couldn't 

Prof. VV. You have already done so much ; you've 
helped — why, are you ill, Miss Latham? {Drops papers.) 

Sylvia (^grasping hold of table). I feel a trifle faint. 
Perhaps you had better call my brother, Professor Watts. 

Prof. \V. [^stepping toivard door r.). Theodore ! Your 
sister wants you, 'Fheodore ! ( Comes back to Sylvia.) Can 
I help you? (^Helps her into a chair.) I trust i have not 
agitated you. My proposal was too abrupt. 

Sylvia (^faintly). 1 assure you I shall be myself pres- 
ently. I am often — I mean I always recover when 1 am 
alone. 

{Enter Ted, r.) 

Prof. W. Your sister is ill, Theodore. Perhaps we 
had better help her to her room. 

Sylvia. Thank you. 1 think I prefer to remain here. 
Ted will stay with me. 

Prof. \V. (^gathering up his papers). Then Til leave 
you. Don't worry, Miss Latham. Some other time we 
will talk this matter out. (71? Ted.) I trust 1 have not 
wearied your sister, Theodore. We've been talking 

Ted. Oh, no ; Sylvia is very fond of talking to you. 
Professor. 

Prof. \V. I hope so, I'm sure. Now, I will leave her 
with you. Endeavor to calm yourself. Miss Latham. 

Sylvia. I — I trust your book will be a success, Pro- 
fessor Watts. 

Prof. W. Thank you. 

(Exit, r.) 
(Sylvia buries her face in her hands.) 

Ted. Have you and Wattsy quarreled already ? 

Sylvia {looking up). Ted, there's been a terrible mis- 
take. I told you I was engaged to Professor AVatts. He 

had asked — as I supposed Oh, Ted, he only wants 

me to help him write his miserable book, and I thought he 
meant — something else. 

Ted {awkivardly trying to put his arm about her). 
There, there, never mind. You don't want old Wattsy, 
anyway. 



l6 THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE 

Sylvia. But, Ted, I told Mrs. Darcy. 

Ted (^whistling). Whew ! That's ba(1. 

Sylvia {crying). Every one in town knows it. by this 
time. 

Ted {starting away). I'll go get Watts, and make 
him 

Sylvia {holding on his coat). Don't you dare. — I can 
never look him or any one else in the face again. 

Ted. Then we'll have to think. Run up to your room 
before some one comes in and finds you crying. Trust 
your Uncle Theodore to find a way through the woods. 

Sylvia {kissing Ted). Thank you, led. I will. I 
know I'm a fright. You must think up something 

( Exit, L.) 

Ted. Well, heaven only knows what it will be. 

{Picks up book and looks at it fiercely.) 

Prof. L. {enterijtg from l.). Well, well, Ted, I'm glad 
to find you working. 

Ted {with a hint of sarcasm). I trust I shall pass my 
exams with credit, sir. 

Prof. L. I hope so ; but more depends on this after- 
noon's work than the examinations. 

Ted. What do you mean ? 

Prof. L. Simply that I had made up my mind to take 
you from college and to put you to work in your uncle's 
store, if you did not accede to my wishes sufficiently to de- 
vote this last afternoon to your studies rather than to that — 
to Mrs. Darcy. I told Gray as much to-day. 

Ted {rising indignantly). Look here, Dad, did you tell 
Harold Gray that if I went canoeing with — with Flora this 
afternoon, you'd make me leave college? 

Prof. L. I did, and I meant it, too. 

Ted {sitting down and picking up book). Well, I didn't 

go- 

Prof. L. {looking at jvatch). I see that you didn't. 
Well, I won't longer detain you from your books. Stick to 
the job, Ted. If you make good, I may reconsider my de- 
cision about that motor-boat. 

Ted (/;/ glee). Dad, you're a brick. 

Prof. L. You'll have to earn it by hard work, though. 

{Exit, l.) 



THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE I7 

Ted {t]iroivin^ book in air). Three clieers for Dad and 
dear old Gray! (i5"///'<fA' Gray, r. 'Ve.V), cordially.^ Hello! 
Back so soon ? 

Gray (^gloomily'). Yes, my canoe struck a rock, and 
Standish came along just in time to rescue us from a watery 
grave. 

Ted. Lucky Standish. I trust the fair Flora was not 
injured. 

Gray, Not in the least. 

Ted {liolding out hand). Say, old man, father's just 
been talking to me, and 1 think that I understand why you 
invited Mrs. Darcy to go canoeing. Thank you. 

{They shake hands.) 

Gray. That's all right. I didn't want you to lose your 
only chance, kid. You've been taking great risks. 

'Fed. I know it, but father's half promised me a motor- 
boat for good behavior, and from now on it's Latham, honor 
man. Say, can't 1 do something for you ? 

Gray. Not unless you can make my peace with Sylvia. 
She's offended with me. — 1 can't have it so. 

Ted. I'm sorry, old man, but I can't do much there, 
Sylvia will thank you, of course, for what you've done for 
me, but she has given her heart to another. 

Gray. What do you mean ? 

Ted. Watts ' 

Gkay. No ! 

Ted. Yes. Say, as a friend of the family, may I tell 
you in confidence about the fix Sylvia is in ? 

Gray. For heaven's sake, yes. 

Ted (in a stage whisper). She's in love with Watts. 
Something he told her led her to believe that he was in love 
with her, and was at the point of proposing. Sylvia told 
Flora Darcy that she was engaged to him. 

Gray. Yes, yes, go on ! 

Ted. Now it comes out that all Watts had in mind 
was to ask her to help him with his old book. Sylvia is 
crazy. Flora will have it all over town. 

Gray. She told me, but I thought she was joking. Ted, 
we must do something. Think hard. 

Ted. What is there to do ? 

Gray. We will find Watts. He must— why, I love 
Sylvia myself beyond I guess you know that ; but, if 



l8 THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE 

she cares for Watts, why, Watts must propose. I'll make 
him. 

Ted {put It fig out his hand'). I'm with you. Shake ! 

{They shake hands.) 

Gray {going r.). We'll search Why 



{^Efiter Sylvia, l. She draws back as she sees Gray.) 

Sylvia. I thought Ted was alone. I wanted 

Gray {appealingly). Sylvia, I 

Sylvia (turning away). I don't care to talk. 

{^Noise without.) 

Ted {running to look). It's Mrs. Darcy, and the crowd 
from the river. 

Sylvia. Oh, I must go. I don't want to see her. 

Gray. Wait ! (/// a low tone, to Sylvia.) Why not 
squelch tliis Darcy person right now? 

Sylvia. I can't. You don't know 

Gray. I do know. And if you can't — I can. Call 
them in, Ted. 

Sylvia. Oh, I 

Ted {calling off). Come on in, folks. We want to 
hear about the accident. 

{Enter Prof. L., l. Enter r., Mrs. D., Standish, and one 
or two other students with paddles, tennis rackets, etc., 
all laughing and talking. Mrs. D. goes directly to 
Sylvia and kisses her.) 

Mrs. D. Darling Sylvia, you're just the one I wanted 
to see. It's lucky you did not go with Mr. Gray, for he 
nearly drowned me. Don't you dare deny it, Mr. Gray. 
{Shakes finger at Gray.) Now, boys, I've some news for 
you. Don't run away, Sylvia. {Clings to her.) Sylvia 
has stolen a march on us : she's engaged, and we never 
knew it. 

All. Engaged ? 

Prof. L. My daughter ? Impossible ! 

All. Who's the man ? 

Mrs. D. I know. You can never guess. 

Gray. I'm the man. 

Ted {aside). Hurray ! 



THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE I9 

Sylvia. He 

Ted {jiternly, aside, to Sylvia). Keep still ! 
Mrs. D. Why, she told me 



Ted. You misunderstood the name, Mrs. Darcy. It's 
Harold Gray, ex-football star, the most popular 

Gray. Ted, dry up ! 

Mrs. D. Well, of all things ! (Stiffly, to Sylvia.) I'm 
sure I congratulate you both. 

Sylvia (weakly'). Thank you. 

Standish (shaking hands with Gray), Best wishes, old 
man. 

Prof. L. (kissing Sylvia). My daughter, I'm delighted. 
(^To Gray.) No one could please me better, sir. 

Gray. Thank you. 

{They shake ha?ids. All shake hands with Sylvia and 
Gray.) 

Mrs. D. Dear Sylvia looks a trifle nervous. I've no 
doubt she and Mr. Gray would appreciate being left alone. 
(Looks knoiuifigly at Sylvia.) Their engagement was so 
sudden. 

Gray. I think your suggestion a very good one. 

Ted {throwing np book). Three cheers for Sylvia and 
Gray ! 

Standish. Come on over to the club, everybody. I'll 
give Sylvia and Gray their first engagement party right 
now. 

(^All laugh.') 

Ted (dolefully). Sorry, I have a previous engagement. 
Prof. L. I'll excuse you for half an hour, Ted. (To 
Gray.) Harold, we'll expect you to stay to dinner. 

(Exit, L.) 

Gray. Thank you, sir. Run along, folks. Sylvia and 
I'll join you in a few minutes. 

(Exeunt r. all except Gray and Sylvia.) 

Sylvia (to Gray). How could you ? 

Gray (pleadingly). Sylvia, don't misunderstand me 
this time. I said it only to help you. I heard — by acci- 
dent — of your mistake about Watts. I wanted to set you 



20 THE GIRL AND THE UNDERGRADUATE 

right before all those people. Now, you know it's easy 
enough for us to quarrel and break our engagement. 

Sylvia. You heard — about — Professor Watts? , 

Gray. Yes. I don't blame you for loving him, Sylvia. 
He's more your sort. And 1 believe he will realize — some 
day. He won't let this great happiness slip by him. If 1 
could do anything to help you — and him. 

Sylvia {turning away in agitatioii). You are veiy 
kind. 

Gray (coming very close to Ji£r'). Sylvia, for heaven's 
sake, don't speak of kindness between you and me. You 
know that I love you 

Sylvia {with averted face). It's too late. 

Gray. 1 know ; but 1 want you to realize that with me 
there has never been any one else. 1 took Mis. Darcy out 
to-day merely to save led from doing what would lose him 
his last chance at college. I never dreamed 

Sylvia {turning toward him). I'm sure Ted thanks 
you. 

Gray, He has. Now, I'm not going to trouble you 
any longer. When you decide what you want to do about 
this — let me know. I'll do anything 

{Tur?is atvay, then looks back.) 

Sylvia (shyly). I know what I'm going to do — now. 

Gray {coming back eagerly). Yes? 

Sylvia {putting out her hand). I'm going to make you 
stay for dinner. 

Gray {seizi?ig her hands). But Watts ? 

Sylvia (laughing). We'll leave him to continue ** The 
Pursuit of the Impossible." Harold, must I say it? 

Gray {bending over her). What, dearest? 

Sylvia. Don't you know what foolish things a girl will 
do — when she is — ^jealous ? There was never any one but 
you. 

Gray {draiving her to him). Sylvia ! 



curtain 




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